GGF Without dad (hooks k. johnston III)



Posted by globalgoodfund on June 8, 2018

Written by: Allie Johnston

Ever since I can remember, I've always looked up to my dad. His leadership skills - as a co-parent, a husband, a venture capitalist, and a businessman - have always humbled and impressed me. Most memorable, though, was his seemingly insatiable desire to do good in the world, to make the world a better place.

He instilled in my siblings and me, a similar desire, through his parenting, passion, engagement, encouragement, and mentorship throughout our personal lives, educational careers, and budding or anticipated (actual) careers. And he treated all four of us as equals (when we were behaving) – regardless of our age or gender.

It's easy to remember all of the good moments we had with my dad - he lived an incredible life and he was an incredible person. And he was brilliant in so many ways, one of which was joining the Board of the Global Good Fund.

I remember him talking about GGF, and how impressed he was with the fellows, the team, and Carrie, of course (because she's phenomenal!). He and my mom talked about the Global Good Fund a lot. I remember him being eager to tell us about the businesses the fellows were running, and how each one was impacting their community.

And I listened. Maybe not at first (if I'm being honest), but the more he talked about it, the more I listened.

After he died, things around me just sort of stopped. The world was dim - still moving (which in itself was hard to comprehend), but dim. And I couldn't fix it. I was stuck. I wanted any type of lifeline to cling onto. I wanted Dad back. He was our rock, the lamp at our feet and the wind at our back. When that's taken from you, what do you do? You have to find your balance, get a new light source, and fight against the change in the wind.

It took me time to realize this. Eventually, I realized I needed motivation, and no one motivated or inspired me like my dad. So what did I do? I had to adopt his thinking. I had to move forward. So I tried. And I failed (or so I thought). But eventually, with the love and support of my friends and family, I tried again and I got my golden ticket. I was offered a job - at the Global Good Fund!

I was incredibly excited, and anxious. How would I do working at an organization my dad impacted, but having to work without him? Will I succeed, or will I fail? Or worse – will I be mediocre?! Will it rub salt in the wound? Will it be obvious I'm his daughter? Will people think I only got the job because of him? (this was a really, really big worry of mine!)

I realized I had to let go of these anxieties because the only way I'd learn the answers to those questions, was if I were to take the job. So that's exactly what I did.

And yes - it hurts that I didn’t hear him ask “how was your first day?!” (because parents will always ask you that regardless of your age). It hurts that I can't call him on the phone and tell him about exciting updates. It hurts that I think of board meetings in which he will no longer partake. It hurts every time I see his name, but it also makes me proud. It makes me proud I'm his daughter. And it reminds me that he did a substantial amount of good in the world.

Do I wish I had been working here while he was still alive? Of course!!!!

Will it be easy without him? Heck no!

Will it be worth it? Yes.

My dad's talent was truly in finances, and although I will admit to not be an expert like him (or anywhere close to that!), I do know he used his talents and made an incredible impact on GGF. His impact inspires me to work to make the world a better place. And the fact that I'm his daughter - well, that means I MUST excel here at the Global Good Fund. And I am up for the challenge!